In keeping with the true tradition
of our bollywod- This story is a COPY
Hero is a software engineer. He does not
have a life worth speaking of.
He spends eighteen hours a day in the office
working and browsing the
net.
Heroine is a software engineer in the same
company. She does not have a
life either. She spends eight hours in front
of her PC, thirteen hours
in front of the TV and the remaining, sleeping.
One day, Hero meets Heroine in a staff meeting.
They argue endlessly
about the insanity of Microsoft applications..
especially Outlook 2003.
Couple of such fights later, Heroine is found
drinking coffee with Hero
in Office canteen.
"What is life?" asks the Hero looking
at the vacuum right above her
head.
"I've been wondering too." sighs
the heroine.
"Why are we fighting over Outlook 2003?"
Hero drinks his black coffee.
"And why are we not talking about Lotus
NOtes" Heroine sips her Latte.
Hero shakes his head. "It's not about
software products. It is about
life. I guess life is much bigger than OUtlook
2003."
Heroine nods. "I think it is. I am not
sure though. Do you know that
Microsoft has come up with a fix to that
bug you've been using to prove
Outlook is a worthless piece of garbage?"
"Heroine," Hero is now determined,
"From this moment onwards, I am not
discussing anything remotely related to software."
"Fine Hero," says Heroine, "Good
bye then."
Hero then returns all the Sybase manuals
to the library and rents out
"how to live a life?"
Heroine meanwhile gets into an altercation
with the villain during a
conversation on Sharepoint server. Villain
vows to format the hard disk
of the heroine. Heroine takes her PC and
runs away from the cubicle
trying to escape from the villain's evil
intentions. Since it is night
shift, no one comes to her rescue.
Hero, who has been reading "how to live
a life" very seriously, suddenly
finds out that he loves the heroine as much
as he used to love Tetris.
So hero messages Heroine on Yahoo Instant
messenger. But there is no
reply. Hero does not understand it. He knows
that the heroine is
supposed to be in night shift. What is she
doing in Night shift if not
on Yahoo Instant Messenger? As far as he
know that is what people are
supposed to do in night shift.
Hero senses trouble. He runs barefooted on
the Information Superhighway
and reaches office just in time to see the
villain snatch the PC out of
heroine's hands and type the command "Format
C:\". When his fingers get
to the "Enter" key, hero delivers
the killer punch on villain's face.
Villain is thrown back. But in the process
he manages to press the Enter
key...
The world comes to a standstill. The sky
roars. The Rain pours.
Heroine breaks down. Villain is on cloud
nine. But our Hero isn't sad.
He is smiling. Villain cannot understand.
Hero then says, "Villain, You
should learn DOS properly. Your grave mistake...".
He shows the monitor
to Villain. The DOS command prompt says "Are
you sure?". It is waiting
for a "Y" to commence the formatting
operation. Hero then simply presses
"N".
Villain cries in frustration "Nooooooo"
and charges like a bull. Then
follows a lengthy fight. Heroine meanwhile
calls the police and they
come right after hero beats the villain to
pulp. Without asking any
questions, the police understand who is hero
and who is villain and take
him into custody. Heroine, tears in her eyes,
takes her PC, switches it
on and jumps with joy when she finds her
favorite Calvin and Hobbs
collection in tact in her C drive.
"You saved my data" she exclaims.
"No, you saved it yourself." hero
says.
"No.. Jesus saves. I don't" she
cries.
"Nothing happened na." Hero consoles.
"Let us get married" heroine sheds
some more tears, "I want someone by
my side to protect the Calvin and Hobbs collection
on my PC".
"I love you Heroine" says the hero.
"I love you Hero" says the heroine.
"So you agree that Outlook 2003 is a
bad product".
"No I don't. Why not we talk about Lotus
nOtes?"
The End.
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