Life Insurance
:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse
:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage
:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears
:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture
:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'
Conference
:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise
:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary
:
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room
:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later
on.
Father
:
A banker provided by nature.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician
:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor
:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic
:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile
:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office
:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn
:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc
.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee
:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience
:
The name men give to their mistakes
.
Atom Bomb
:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher
:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
